I might be crazy?

My dad's been really sick his whole life. Diagnosed with Bi polar, manic depression at 27.

His father wasn't well either, he beat him and my grandmother into a bloody pulp whenever he hit the bottle which was often. My dad left home at 15 scared for his life on a motorcycle and rode all the way to Edmonton.
That's where he eventually met my mom, knocked her up stuck around for 4 years trying to hide the mental illness until it over came him and they divorced. At the time my mom just thought he was a fucking asshole! Mental illness in the eighties was not really discussed or at least not really taken seriously.
My dad spun out and went back to Toronto and dated and worked manically. He drank and smoked and self medicated himself as much as possible.

He then met Melanie my now step mom they have been together since i was 6, so 22 years.
She has stuck by him through thick and thin. He was hospitalized in 1997, his depression goes in 7 year cycles. He spent 2 months in St. Paul's Hospital undergoing electric shock therapy. Yes that's right! They still were doing electric shock therapy in 1997 as a cure for depression.
My dad still Say's that if he hadn't undergone the treatment then, that he wouldn't be alive now.

I remember being a teenager growing up with a manically depressed father and being angry, really, really, angry. The thing was he would take his crazy out on me all the time and i didn't really understand because i was 14 or 16 years old. We fought all the time. Sometimes about serious things and then sometimes he would catch me off guard and freak out about the way the table was set. Our house was a battle ground and my step mom was left to referee.

I started to get pretty heavy into smoking weed. It was a great relief to not think about anything but myself and the cool way the world looked and my body felt. I was self medicating as well.

It was around 14 that i realized i wasn't into any of the guys at school... if you get my drift.
So i guess i had a lot on my plate when i was a kid? But i still feel lucky to have gone to school in Vancouver which was such an openly gay city. My father and Stepmother were more than supportive and still are to this very day.

My dad hasn't really worked in hmmmmm? like 15 years. He has a doctor in Toronto that he says can't even grow a beard he's so young. But he's supposed to be the best!

Over the last few years my dad and i haven't been getting along. It might be the distance? I just don't feel apart of his life the way i used to. I think the selfish, pot smoking, teenager in me is relieved to not have to deal with his disease on a regular basis.
It takes over everything! To the point where you start to feel crazy yourself. In fact they tried to take me into St. Paul's when i was a 15 and told me because his kind of mental illness is genetic that i may be sick as well. I remember i was trying to hold back my tears and anger as the doctor told me they wanted to test my blood to see if i was going to be "like" my father.
I told her to go fuck herself and walked out of the hospital.
I have never been tested.

In hindsight i wish i could have been kinder to my father over the things i truly couldn't understand because of my teenage youth. I wish my mother could have been stronger and tried to understand. I wish my stepmother didn't have to endure the fights and anger we both dished out at each other on a regular basis.
I wish my dad wasn't sick with crippling depression. He's so charismatic and talented!
But what are you going to do?
The world is what we make of it.
I think I'll pick up the phone and give him a call.

The customer is never right

I was chased down the street by angry line cook today. It all started when Legs, Brad and I decided to grab some hangover breakfast at The Sunny Spot on Main and 10Th.
Our food took forever and when it came mine was cold! Not a little warm, but fucking COLD. So i told the waitress who seemed to understand what i was talking about. 2 Min's later an angry elderly man, who i was to presume was the cook (apron) came to our table. I told him my food was cold and i couldn't eat it! He then waved his hands in my face and told me it wasn't cold and to get out!?
I didn't even know what to say?? It was shocking. So Brad explained to him and legs added help and still this guy was so angry at me!! So he goes to the kitchen but stands in the doorway staring at me with pure fucking anger. I'm seriously dying at this point. The kids finished their meal up as quickly as possible paid the check and left. We all walked out of the place and all of a sudden out comes the waitress and she's screaming that we didn't pay the check! Which we did, except for me because of the crap food that i didn't eat. We explain the situation and then out comes the angry cook and he's losing his shit!!! Like seriously he's going off. She had to hold him back and he's screaming in my face to pay the check. It was a huge scene! Like seriously the whole neighbourhood saw this shit go down and their all thinking were trying to rip this wacko guy off, mostly because of the way were dressed and our ages, i assume. Then this "bystander" chimes in, "come on you guys pay your CHECK!" At this point i can't even believe this is happening. NO SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm fucking shit shocked and kinda scared cause he's screaming he's going to call the police. I wish he had honestly.
I have to walk by the Sunny Spot everyday to go to work at Budgies, it's just so awkward. All because my meal was ice cold and i couldn't eat it. It makes me sad, cause i don't know why that guy freaked out so hard. Anyways we were all super shook up for a good half hour after it happened and of course i had to go to work and serve food and customers all day long.
Oh well! I'm off to check out Pierced Arrows at the Railway club and have a few pints, a place where everybody knows your name.

Mantracker

I watch a lot of T.V.! In fact i watched 6 hours of televised programming last night. I was not alone in the journey but my cohort will remain nameless. I'm not ashamed of this though, in fact i think it makes me smarter? I know that i should always wear gloves if I'm going to commit murder or some kind of wicked robbery. I know that the Sham wow is the best towel on earth! I know that the Simpson's are on at 12:00pm, 5:00pm, 6:00pm and 12:00am. I have learned how to play Texas hold em poker like a pro. I realized i may be from the late 50's and in a past life was an ad executive. I know every hockey score from around the league, everyday.
I may eventually become a meteorologist.
T.V. is my best friend. I do my best drinking in front of the T.V. I've had great sex in front of the T.V. I've learned that dogs can watch T.V.
"Were gonna have a T.V. party tonight, ALL RIGHT,
We've got nothing better to do, than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews!"

Not lady like at all

When i was away in Mexico i realized that i spit on the ground far too often! I realized this because i wasn't spitting on the ground in Mexico. When I'm at home in Vancouver I will walk around and often i will spit. "It's a goddamn sunny day *SPIT*." "Jesus fuck i almost got killed crossing that street *SPIT*."

I guess it's a sense of entitlement? But if there was ever ground to spit on it should have been in Mexico! Not because it's not a beautiful place or because it's poor. It's because they don't have a drainage system and basically all their shit and soap and piss just pours into the street. So in the scheme of things my spit would be nothing. But yeah i should stop spitting cause it's not very lady like and soon it may lead to me blowing snot out my nose on Pender and Main. 

The landfills are full enough already!

Fuck this Hallmark Holiday! Now if you'll excuse me i have to go drink Champagne and orange juice with my beautiful girlfriend.

More bran please!

I need to shit! Seriously! Like a proper banana shaped turd. Not rabbit shits or the mystery turd that disappears in the toilet. Yep this is what my blog is going to be like!

So legs has been busy setting up shows for Boosh Tuesdays and we've got a couple of good ones coming up , Feb 17th and Feb 24th @ The Cobalt, so you should check em out!

Very superstitious

Mexico '09

I just got back from a month long vacation in Mexico (yeah, yeah, i know) with my GF and I'm really depressed right now. Weird right?
The obvious reasons may be the sun and surf are no longer at my door step, and have been replaced with forced heating and toques. I don't think that's it though? It's more of an uncomfortable realization that i have to get back with the "social paradigms and paradox's," that make up east van.
In Mexico i didn't have to worry about who was going to be my new roommate? Or who broke up with whom? Or who's drinking binges were causing problems among their friends? Or what music venue shut down? Or who lost their job, or who, or who...... In Mexico i had to worry about whether or not i should have a margarita or a mojito? And whether or not they are 2X1?
So yeah i guess it's just back to reality for me and the rest of East Van has just been waiting to catch me up on all the goings on. So why hasn't my phone been ringing?

Rocky know's what I'm talking about

What is this Blog thing you speak of?

So I'm finally on board the Blog train, "toot, toot." Thanks largely in part to all my wicked friends and their wicked blogs. Whitney suggested i call it MJ's insane rants, but i thought that would be a bit too much pressure...to be insane that is, not to rant! I've got the ranting part down with or without the blog.